Melanie Potock

❤️ Working with an anxious eater? Instead of asking, “How do I get them to EAT it?” Try this….

This is #10 in my ARFID, PFD, Autism & Anxiety series, and I want to give parents & feeding therapists a different question:
“What can this child say YES to today?”🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Maybe tasting the food is several steps away.That doesn’t mean there isn’t a next step.
👉🏻Can they tolerate it nearby?
👉🏻Can they help prepare it?
👉🏻Can they put it on someone else’s plate?
👉🏻Can they interact with it in a way that feels achievable TODAY?

❤️ Find that small YES & build from there. With ARFID, progress doesn’t have to mean taking a bite today.
We’re not looking for one giant leap. We’re looking for opportunities to move the child toward the goal…instead of away.
♥️Gentle nudges.
♥️Small steps.
♥️Less avoidance.
♥️More confidence.
That’s progress.

Want to learn more about ARFID, PFD, anxiety & avoidance?
👉🏼 Comment ARFID and I’ll send you a discount code for my most popular on-demand ARFID course.

Melanie♥️
Melanie Potock - ARFID | Autism | Anxiety | Food Avoidance | Anxious Eater | Feeding Therapy | Feeding Progress | Pediatric Feeding

😰 “If I stay in my food safe zone, I don’t feel anxious.”This is #9 in my ARFID, PFD, Autism & Anxiety series.

👉🏻Think about that statement from the child’s perspective.Inside their familiar food zone, things feel predictable.

😳But stepping OUT of that zone can bring uncertainty, uncomfortable feelings & anticipatory anxiety, sometimes before the child even sees, smells or tastes the food.

And what have we been talking about throughout this series?
Avoidance works in the short term.
Avoid → feel less anxious → stay in the safe zone.

That’s why the goal isn’t to yank a child out of their food safe zone or suddenly remove the foods that help them feel secure.
❤️ The right therapy helps a child expand that safe zone, one carefully supported step at a time. They can learn to experience the anxious feeling, take the next achievable step anyway & discover that they CAN do hard things.

⭐️Want to learn more about helping children with ARFID move from avoidance toward progress?
👉🏼 Comment ARFID and I’ll send you a discount code for my most popular on-demand ARFID course.
♥️Melanie

Melanie Potock - ARFID | Autism | Anxiety | Food Avoidance | Food Safe Zone | Anxious Eater | Feeding Therapy | Pediatric Feeding

♥️This is #8 in my ARFID, PFD, Autism & Anxiety series, and one of the most important messages I teach is the value of getting the RIGHT professionals around the child.

👉🏻Start with a thorough feeding evaluation.An experienced feeding team and/or an OT or SLP specializing in Pediatric Feeding Disorder can help determine whether sensory, motor or medical factors are contributing to the child’s feeding challenges. That evaluation may include other health professionals.

⭐️But if anxiety appears to be a major driver, we also want a psychologist or social worker experienced in pediatric anxiety and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

And this part is so important:
👉🏼 Every professional treating children with ARFID has an ethical responsibility to understand the relationship between anxiety and avoidance, and how that relationship can impact feeding development throughout childhood and into adulthood.

⭐️That doesn’t mean feeding therapists become psychotherapists. And…it doesn’t mean mental health professionals become feeding therapists.

🔗It means we understand how our areas of expertise intersect, stay within our respective scopes of practice & work together for the child.

👉🏻Because avoidance can reduce anxiety in the moment. And when that pattern is reinforced again and again, it can become increasingly difficult for a child to move forward with food.
❤️ Feeding professionals address feeding. Mental health professionals address anxiety. But we have to understand each other’s piece of the puzzle.

❓Want to learn more about ARFID, anxiety & avoidance?
👉🏼 Comment ARFID and I’ll send you a discount code for my most popular on-demand ARFID course.

💕Melanie

Melanie Potock - ARFID | Autism | Anxiety | Pediatric Feeding Disorder | PFD | Feeding Therapy | CBT | Avoidance

😰 Sometimes a child isn’t afraid of the food. They’re afraid of what might happen AFTER they eat it.
👉🏻This is #7 in @mymunchbug_melaniepotock ‘s ARFID, PFD Autism & Anxiety series and subtype #3: Concern about aversive consequences of eating. (🙏🏻Thank you @drmichaelmilobsky for collaborating with Melanie today!)

For some children, there may have been a frightening food-related experience:
Choking.
Vomiting.
An allergic reaction.

Some children may also have an anxious temperament or be particularly sensitive to sensations happening inside their bodies.

Then come the predictions:
💭 “What if I choke?”
💭 “What if I throw up?”
💭 “What if I have another reaction?”

The child may begin avoiding the original food, similar foods, or situations they associate with that frightening experience.
They stay in their familiar food zone and avoid new food experiences whenever possible.

And once again, we see the same powerful cycle:
Avoidance → temporary relief from anxiety → more avoidance.

Or, in the words you’ll hear throughout this series:
“The more I avoid, the less anxiety I will feel.”

❤️ That’s why we have to look beyond WHAT a child refuses and become curious about WHY they’re avoiding it. What FEELING are they trying to avoid, which then causes them to avoid the food?

We’ve now covered all three ARFID subtypes. Next, we’re going to keep digging into avoidance and what it means for helping anxious eaters move forward. Have you been following along?

Melanie Potock – Dr. Michael Miblosky – Pediatrician - ARFID | Autism | Anxiety | Food Avoidance | Fear of Choking | Anxious Eater | Feeding Therapy | Pediatric Feeding

“But they can tell there’s ONE tiny speck of difference in their food!”🤦🏼‍♀️
Yep. For some children with ARFID, the sensory characteristics of food can be incredibly powerful.

👉🏻This is #6 in my ARFID, Autism & Anxiety series and subtype #2: Avoidance based on the sensory characteristics of food.

Texture.
Smell.
Taste.
Appearance.
Temperature.

A child may be particularly sensitive to food characteristics, and unfamiliar sensory experiences may trigger disgust, fear or anxiety.

So they stay with familiar foods.
They avoid unfamiliar foods.
And they avoid new food EXPERIENCES whenever possible.

🤔Why?
Because avoidance can make that uncomfortable feeling decrease, at least temporarily.

And once again, the brain learns:
“The more I avoid, the less anxiety I will feel.”

❤️ This is why understanding the WHY behind food avoidance matters. We aren’t simply looking at a child who “won’t try it.” We’re trying to understand what that food experience feels like to that child.

👉🏻Stay tuned for #7: fear of aversive consequences of eating with @drmichaelmilobsky . Be sure to send this to a friend who may like to follow along! 🗣️Comment ARFID if you’d like to learn more!

💕Melanie

Melanie Potock - ARFID | Autism | Anxiety | Sensory Processing | Food Avoidance | Anxious Eater | Feeding Therapy | Pediatric Feeding

What if your child truly doesn’t seem interested in eating?

This is #5 in my ARFID, PFD, Autism & Anxiety series, and we’re starting a closer look at the three hallmarks or subtypes of ARFID.

👉🏻First up: Apparent lack of interest in eating or food.

For some children with ARFID, hunger may not be a particularly strong motivator, and eating itself may not feel especially pleasurable. Sure they still eat some, but not much, and not with much interest.

Then something important can happen.

They begin making negative predictions about eating:
💭 “It probably won’t taste good.”
💭 “The bites will start to taste yucky”
💭 “I don’t want to get too full.”

They may skip meals, eat very small amounts or have increasingly limited experiences with food. And…those patterns can affect the signals they receive from their own bodies. As I discuss in my courses, repeatedly ignoring hunger cues can make those cues less noticeable, while feelings of fullness may become increasingly intense or uncomfortable.

Then comes the cycle I want parents & therapists to understand:
👉🏻Avoidance reduces anxiety IN THE MOMENT.

And the brain learns:
“The more I avoid, the less anxiety I will feel.”

❤️ That’s why simply telling a child with ARFID, “You need to eat” misses so much of what may be happening underneath the behavior.

Next up in #6: ARFID & avoidance based on the sensory characteristics of food.

♥️Melanie
Melanie Potock - ARFID | Autism | Anxiety | Food Avoidance | Lack of Interest | Anxious Eater | Feeding Therapy | Pediatric Feeding

😰 Anxiety doesn’t always LOOK anxious.👉🏻This is #4 in my ARFID, PFD, Autism & Anxiety series, and this is something I really want both parents AND feeding therapists to recognize.

😢When we think about an anxious child, we may picture crying, hiding their face, becoming dysregulated or desperately trying to get away.
Sometimes anxiety looks exactly like that.

😶But sometimes it’s much quieter.
A child may freeze. Become unusually quiet. Get silly or distracted. Negotiate. Ask question after question. Say they aren’t hungry. Only eat in front of a screen. Or simply find ways to avoid the food or eating experience altogether.
Of course, any one of these behaviors does not automatically mean a child is anxious.

But it’s worth getting curious.
Instead of only asking:
“Is this child upset?”
Try asking:
“What might this behavior be communicating?”
Because a child doesn’t have to be crying for an eating experience to feel incredibly difficult.

❤️ Keep following along for #5 in my ARFID, PFD, Autism & Anxiety series. Send this to a friend who might be wondering about anxiety and extreme picky eating…

♥️Melanie

ARFID | Autism | Anxiety | Anxious Eater | Food Avoidance | Feeding Therapy | Pediatric Feeding | Picky Eating

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😰 Sometimes the hardest part isn’t the FOOD. It’s the FEELING.
This is #3 in my ARFID,PFD, ASD & Anxiety series.
When we see a child avoiding food, it’s easy to focus on what’s right in front of us:
The smell.
The texture.
The taste.
The appearance.
And yes, those things can absolutely matter.

But for many children with ARFID, we also need to pay close attention to what happens before they ever take a bite.
The worry.
The anticipation.
The physical feeling of anxiety.
The urge to AVOID.
And avoidance works…temporarily.

The child avoids the food → anxiety decreases → the brain learns, “Avoiding this made me feel better.”
And that can make avoidance even more powerful the next time.

It’s why I use this analogy when I teach:
“Having ARFID is like desperately wanting to learn to swim, but being too scared to approach the water.”
❤️ Our job isn’t simply to get them into the water. It’s to help them learn, one carefully supported step at a time, that they can approach it.

Hope you’re finding this series helpful! More to come!
👉🏼 Follow for #4 in my ARFID, Autism & Anxiety series.

♥️Melanie
Melanie Potock - ARFID | Autism | Anxiety | Food Avoidance | Anxious Eater | Feeding Therapy | Pediatric Feeding | Picky Eating

There’s a BIG difference between a hesitant eater and a truly anxious eater.
This is #2 in my ARFID, PFD, Autism & Anxiety series, and understanding that difference matters.

⚠️Some hesitation around unfamiliar foods can be a normal part of learning to eat. A child may need time, repeated exposure & lots of opportunities to become comfortable.

😟But when anxiety becomes a significant part of the picture, we need to look deeper.
👉🏻Is this child simply hesitant?
👉🏻Are we seeing picky eating?
👉🏻Could there be a Pediatric Feeding Disorder?
👉🏻Could this be ARFID?
👉🏻Could an anxiety disorder be contributing to what we’re seeing at the table?
👉🏻Is there another diagnosis to consider, like ASD?

❤️ Because the question isn’t always just:
“How picky is this child?”
Sometimes the more important question is:
“How anxious is this child about eating?”
And recognizing that difference can change how we support them.

👋🏼Follow along for #3 in my ARFID, PFD, Autism & Anxiety series. Send this to a friend who may want to follow too, and save it for future reference!

🙂Melanie

Melanie Potock - ARFID | Autism | Anxiety | Pediatric Feeding Disorder | PFD | Anxious Eater | Picky Eating | Feeding Therapy

👋🏼Welcome to #1 in my new ARFID, PFD, Autism & Anxiety series.

Over the next several Reels, I’m going to break down some of the concepts I teach in my professional courses into short, practical conversations for parents AND feeding professionals.

And here’s where I want to start:
Before we decide HOW to help a child eat, we need to understand WHY eating is hard.

🤔Could this child have a Pediatric Feeding Disorder (PFD)?
🤔Could it be ARFID?
🤔What role might anxiety be playing?
🤔How about other diagnosis, like autism?

PFD is impaired oral intake that isn’t age-appropriate and is associated with medical, nutritional, feeding skill and/or psychosocial dysfunction. Conservative estimates suggest PFD affects more than 1 in 37 children under age 5 in the United States each year.

Autism is a spectrum, as is selective eating. Autistic kids are 15 times more likey to be selective eaters.

♥️And regardless of a child’s other diagnoses, they deserve a thorough evaluation that looks at the whole child, rather than simply labeling them “picky.”

❤️ Because when we better understand what’s driving the feeding difficulty, we can build the right team & provide the right kind of support.

📌Save this one & follow along. Reel #2 is all about the difference between a hesitant eater and a truly anxious eater. Send this to a friend who would like to follow along too, or save it for future reference!

🙂Melanie

Melanie Potock- ARFID | Autism | Anxiety | Pediatric Feeding Disorder | PFD | Feeding Therapy | Anxious Eater | Picky Eating

😫Want your child to stay at the table longer? Start here BEFORE you worry about how much they eat. 👇🏼

🛏️Think about something as simple as making your bed every morning.
There’s comfort in familiar routines, and kids benefit from that same
predictability of routines at mealtimes.

♥️Try these 3 simple mealtime routines:

🕯️MARK THE BEGINNING.
Light a candle, say a prayer or create a silly family handshake. A
consistent little ritual helps your child recognize: This is mealtime. We’re
here together.

🍽️MARK THE END.
Have everyone take their plate to the counter when they’re finished. Even
toddlers can participate with a little help! It creates a clear ending and
helps reinforce that the next opportunity to eat comes at the next scheduled
meal or snack.

📵PUT THE SCREENS AWAY FIRST.
Turn them off before everyone comes to the table. We want kids connecting
with the people, conversation and food around them, not transitioning away
from a screen once dinner has already begun. Sometimes, screens are permitted…But not if we’re trying to form connections and create conversations.

💕Routines aren’t about controlling how much your child eats. They’re about
creating a predictable, comfortable environment where kids can learn to
participate in family meals.

And sometimes, when kids feel more comfortable staying at the table... they
just might explore and eat a little more too.

📚There’s lots more about creating happier family mealtimes in Raising a
Healthy, Happy Eater, the award-winning book I co-authored with pediatrician Dr. Yum. Comment BOOK to peek inside!

👉🏼Which of these 3 routines could you start tonight?

🥰Melanie
Melanie Potock / Mealtime Routines • Picky Eating • Family Meals • Toddler Mealtimes • Feeding Kids • Mealtime Behavior • Responsive Feeding • Pediatric Feeding